Desperation for Good Life


Life is unpredictable to some and presictable to others. I wish I possea that kind of outlook because life in my side of world is full of insults just because you happen to catch all the bad and unfortunate things this life is giving. Yeah! Yeah! I am the one who blame for everything that is occuring. But in my defense, I may not do my best but I did my part and too bad the outcome is worst to the point of feeling desperate to make your life bearable. Because you don’t know what the people around you is thinking and you have to be caution always because you have a big debt to them to pay. And once they don’t agree on you behavior, they throw insults at you. If I know this will happen ,I would choose to do the opposite during that time because the insulta they thrown at you is just like killing your inner self.

Those peooke who help others and spending big amount of money on them and at the moment they cant pay you back gives them the right insult them? Life really most of the time bit you in the bum bum in the most unexpected time. And kill you spirit.

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What to DO? What to Do?

Have you experience that you think that everything will go smoothly as you plan but get the opposite result? From the moment (that was last year) I told myself that I would pay the bills and buy my own personal needs without asking financial assistance to the parents. And for a few months, I survived, but this month was the most hard to endure month of all. Why? I already pay my last, last months electric bill but I still have one bill to settle and another electric bill will knock our gate this first week of July and I still don’t know where to get the payment for those bills, mother’s monthly ficco, due every first week of the month, jewelries (few of them) that was still in the pawnshop and needs to pay interest every month and many more. Every time I think of my financial situation right now, ‘as in every time’ it makes me worry even more and I try hard to think and find a solution to the point of having a headache but still no solution found. The questions and dilemma still lingers in my head, WHAT SHOULD I DO, WHAT WOULD BE MY NEXT STEP, WHAT IF I CAN’T PAY THE ELECTRIC AND THEY WILL CUT ME OFF, AND A LOT OF WHAT? WHAT IF? and WHAT? But I won’t loss hope, I know I can overpass this financial situation, I just need a good strategies to make it lighter for the time being. All I have right now is a positive thinking and positive outcome. ;-( scartching my head, then sights ;-(

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