The 1st day of school is like the 1st time i attended my college day way way way back but this time the feeling is very far the same. Do you experience that feeling that you enter the wrong room like you enter the men’s room when you should be in the lady’s room enjoying the comfort of your own time beautifying. Most of my new classmate are newly graduate high school student which make sense because i am still in my 2nd year because i only finish a 2 year course. Some of my subject back then was credited.
All of the teachers are newly college graduate because the school founded not that long ago. So meaning, i an way older than my teachers. Even some of those teachers looks like a student than the newly high school graduates. Life most of the time will bite you in the ass even if your looking directly at it.
Going back to school is not the best idea for me because of my age. Even-though people may react to it because age doesn’t really a problem if you really want to learn and find a job that is for keeps. I just wish that the society or rather the country that i’am living doesn’t focus on higher educational and age bracket because that would be very hard for those who made mistakes in their younger years. I wish i belong to a country that accept or hire a middle 30′s or late 30′s as long as you can to the job at hand and don’t required a very higher degree. But since i am already here and going abroad is out of the menu might as will redo the past and try to be more more eager and do good this time.
Tomorrow is still a blur and fuzzy, so many worries and uncertain feelings but the decision has been made. Just keep on standing on the positive side despite the feeling of drowning on it. I have to do it because nobody will do it for me, just me. Breath and make it to the finish line (very far far away though) for me and to those who help me start a new chapter of my un-progressive, stuck to the bottom of the pit life.
We all have our burden and problems to shoulder but very different in handling each of that problems. As we go on living the life that we have, we might picture ourselves doing something but not all those view will turn out to be the ones we want to linger because the direction and plan that you want to accomplish will not always be the one you will got (will except those lucky ones). Some unexpected things will happen along the way. It could be a little bump or a big bump on your head that will stay forever.
I really don’t know what in me that most of the bad things happen to me. I don’t want to enumerate that bad things but despite all those not so good things, I am still thankful that my family still there to help me even-though they already have family of their own.
For now, anticipating is the only thing i have in mind because i don’t really know what will happen to tomorrow or even the passing hours, but i have to hold on to something that somehow this life would be better than what i have right now. Opening to a new possibility that someone with higher power can give me just little fresh air to breath.